22 January 2008

Free Beer: Super Bowl 2005 in Iraq


I never would have thought that I'd actually have fans who wanted to read my stories on a Blog. I guess there's so many cop shows on TV that nobody wants to hear those stories, so I'll work on the Iraq ones. So I'll continue my Mission stories. Keep in mind I had about 15 different assignments and lots of missions...so it could drag on. The good thing about this last weekend National Guard gathering is I got to see my old team from Bosnia--who I haven't seen in about 3 years.
Mission Mosoul: Part 11. As you recall we left Telafar and returned to Mosoul. We only stayed there less than a week and were ordered back to Baghdad. By the time we got home, there was just enough time to drop off our bags and walk to the mess hall. We were really in need of food as we only had cliff bars while waiting for helicopters and while flying on them.
It was a Sunday and I had totally forgotten it was also Super Bowl Sunday. When we got inside the mess hall, they had a table set up with Budweiser beer. I was shocked, since "GENERAL ORDER #1" stated: "All soldiers and civilians in Iraq at US bases will not have fun or alcoholic beverages."
The only "legal" time alcoholic beverages could be had was when a 1 Star General or above signed an order allowing it...but even then, there was a 2 drink limit. With an order signed, now here was Free Beer and it was very cold.
When I was a young soldier in Germany, I could drink several liters of real German beer. But as I got older, I drank a lot less. 2 beers would be about all it would take to make me happy.
However, after my team and I had our 2 beers, we still seemed to have a thirst.
This is when it's a good time to have friends of religions who are not allowed to drink. So I found all our Islamic Terps and asked if they had consumed their 2 beers yet. They all said: "No, I don't drink."
To which I responded with: "well, why don't you go get your 2 beers and bring them here and I'll help you out."
We did that until we ran out of friends. I lost track of how many "2 beers" I had, but I remember that the mess hall trailer seemed like it was under attack by the Navy or something as I was walking out...
And of course with my luck, the Battalion Commander and Sergeant Major were on my path to the exit. I just said: "Good night gentlemen, dinner is on me."
The next day my team and I started to get e-mails from home....everyone thought we had died or something because all the letters a care packages everyone mailed were "returned to sender, soldier unknown- Mosoul, IZ"
I was totally confused. The mail plan for us was the unit in Baghdad was supposed to hold our mail until we arrived back to base. What happened is some knuckelhead captain decided our mail was taking up too much room, so she told her clerks to forward it to us in Mosoul---without telling us so we could advise the Mosoul mail clerks. When the mail arrived in Mosoul, the clerks had no idea who we were, so all our mail was returned to the States. How do you think we felt about that? By the time I was done making fuss, I had 2 Sergeant Majors, 2 First Sergeants and several officers who wanted to talk to me. After they all had their say, I advised each one of them I would contact the Inspector General's office and let them know how our mail got all f---ed up. They all left me alone after that...
Mission Kalsu is next... AKA "Mortar Camp".

1 comment:

Hope said...

maaaaaan that's like rule #1 out there--no Holy Commandment...Thou shalt not F with warrior's mail...