08 January 2010

...Great Hippie Chase part II.....

From the Cop (Roller) side: Well, I was going to wait a few days to end the Great Hippie Chase, but America’s First Sergeant has spoken. Since the UNITED STATES MARINES (1st Marine Div) were kind enough to give my team ammo in the battle of Fallujah, I feel I owe the Marines a debt I will never be able to fully repay. So, here you go Top.

Let me say something about men and hair. I have my thoughts on hair and how people care for themselves. I really don’t care if some dude has long hair. However, I do think when most men reach the age of about 35 or so, if they have a pony tail, then need to cut the damn thing off. If a dude’s hair is falling out and/or going grey, cut the f—ing ponytail thing off. What do these guys think they are? Rock Stars? Nope, I worked with Rock Stars in Iraq…and they all had short hair and weapons.

So, as we were chasing this stupid %@($@##$ around the down town, we were amazed at how stupid he was. We had enough horse power, cops and weapons to take out a Taliban Cell, but this dude on a bicycle thought he could escape?

Mary 1 was still in on the road behind the dumbass who was riding the bicycle on the sidewalk. Behind Mary 1 was me, the Linclon units and the Xray.   Seemed like every few hundred feet,dipshit would turn around and flip the bird.

I know in my head I was laughing at this dipshit. But at the same time I was wondering if he was wanted for bank robbery or murder or something crazy. He was pedeling as fast as he could to get away from us…but not fast enough. And he wasn’t a very good bike rider. He could maybe do 10 MPH, and we could do over 100!

After going around blocks in circles for awhile, I figured dipshit must be getting tired. He was floundering and his movements were not as smooth and he was slowing down—all signs of him getting exhausted. We on the other hand were totally rested being that we only had to step on the gas pedal or Mary 1 have to roll back the throttle on the KZ1000.

Finally dipshit was going down a sidewalk where I knew it was about over. See, this area of the town was built over 100 years ago. The sidewalks were much higher than the newer building codes because of the horse and buggy days I guess. The sidewalk/ curb was too high for a poor bicycle rider to launch off from without crashing. There were also a lot of obstacles in the way that would impede an easy maneuver.

In other words, if a patrol car was to go further ahead and drive up a driveway and block the side walk, dipshit would have no where to go.

I took that option. I was far enough down the road where dipshit could easily stop without hitting my patrol car and scratching the paint (man I waxed that car once a week). As I blocked the sidewalk, I exited my car and ran around to where dipshit was coming. He had this funny look of “Oh shit, what do I do now” that I’ve seen many times. He panicked and tried to stop his bike, but got tangled up in the pedals. I caught him before he fell and hurt himself.

I told him in a very firm voice: “stop resisting dipshit, and you won’t get hurt.”

He gave up like a little girl at that point. Then the swarm of blue was all over his ass. Still, it was all controlled no excessive force because he stopped resisting. Everybody was OK.
Turns out when the booking sheet was being filled out, he had no warrants or anything, he just didn’t respect the “man.” There are lots of little boxes to be filled in on the booking sheet. One of those is “type of employment”.
When dipshit was asked, he said he never has worked (maybe it was the pony tail and the attitude?) so he was asked: “Are you a hippie?”

He said he was a hippie. So that’s what was written into that box.

Man, you wouldn’t believe the fu---g drama that cause the next day.

-------------------Next, Oxygen Bandits on deployments-----------------


Hope said...

No...I wouldn't be surprised at all, folks here stabbed each other for hot beer after Ike...I like your song. Lucky man, indeed. xo

Coffeypot said...

Y'all should have taught him a lesson; held him down and cut his hair and dropped him off at a Marine Recruiting Station.

CI-Roller Dude said...

I knew the crack about older guys and ponytails would piss off some people. But it ain't the 1970's...get a hair cut.

powdergirl said...

I hate long hair on men, you totally should have shot him, but,
"...gave up like a little GIRL." ???

I take exception to that comment!

CI-Roller Dude said...

If any of the following were offended in the telling of this story:
old dudes with pony tails
weak men


If any girls were offended by the comments, I do appolgize.

No monkeys were injured in the telling of this story.

Red said...

So being a hippie qualifies as an occupation? ;D Oh, and on a related note: a high and tight haircut will make any man attractive! Ponytails ... eh, not so much