Rubber Boy....on Mushrooms

From the Cop side: I think one of my fans (P) awhile back asked for another cop story. It's so hard to beat some of the crap you see on TV and movies, but a true story where you can laugh at it is good I guess. Here's one.

I was working what we called our "Day Shift"...12 hours between 0700 and 1900 hours. We worked long shifts 3 or 4 days a week with the concept that every other week we'd get 4 days off in a row. Almost never seemed to happen...with overtime shifts, court, training and stuff always coming up.

The town I worked in as a cop was fairly small with a small PD. But, we worked close with each other. So, if one cop yelled for help, everyone came flying over to help. It had to be that way...and even the officers and deputies from nearby agencies would come because we did the same for them when the needed help.

It was a Friday night...about 20 minutes before the end of my shift. We had a "cover" shift that come on at 1700 hours, so they usually got the calls at the end of our shifts to keep us from having to stay late with a report. This was the case.

The cover officer was given the call of: "Strange juvenile waking up to homes and saying strange things to whoever answered the door....then hitting them and running away."

Oh, wow. This sounded too good to miss, so I headed over to the neighborhood to help find the miscreant. The officer who got the call arrived in the area before I did and checked....he cleared the call "U.T.L." (Unable To Locate) and began to drive away. I just rolled into the area as he cleared the call, so I drove out in a different road...just minding my own business.

It was getting dark (October) and as I was driving down a narrow one way street, something jumped out of the bushes in front of my patrol car. It was a guy about 16-17 years old. I stopped so I wouldn't run over him and he walked up to my window. He said something like: "Is my mom alive?" and started to walk away.

I realized he was the knucklehead that we were called on, so I got out of my car and called for him to come to me. He ran back in a flash and got right up to me and began asking if the sky was on fire or something. He was not acting normal, even for that part of California....

I asked: "Dude, what are you on?" and he said: "Mushrooms!" as he began to run away.

I grabbed his arm and tried to cuff him without hurting him (he was only a kid...and high) but he pulled away. I did a leg sweep and put him on the ground with one arm behind him. But, no matter what I did, I could not get his other arm into the handcuffs...it was like he was made out of rubber!!!! His lower torso turned almost 360 degrees while I was holding down his upper body. I was not worried....I was laughing so hard that I had a hard time calling out for help on the radio.

Because I couldn't speak clearly when I talked on the radio, everyone figured I really needed help since I almost never asked for back up. When the troops arrived, they found a 200 + pound cop on top of a skinny little rich white boy on mushrooms ----with both of us laughing our asses off.

We got him hooked up, but for some reason he decided to try to kick us when we stood him up...so we had to take him to the juvenile hall... after the hospital. His mommy called and asked if she could just take him home....after all, he had only taken some mushrooms...... I suppose the mom was an old hippie or something....

I got off work late that night. But, it was still better than being in Iraq.