23 December 2009

Night before SFOR Christmas...

From the Soldier side:  After I returned from Bosnia, I realized that most Americans had no idea what we were doing there....as a matter of fact, when my deployment came up in conversation in e-mails while I was there and after I returned...most Americans didn't even know the US still had troops there. It was and is still often confused with the Kosovo mission---which is still ongoing.  In other words, WTF were we doing there? 
Well, I can tell some of the reasons now... the SOB my team was looking for has since been captured.  I was always a week behind this man.
Here's a little Christmas thing I found in an old e-mail from Bosnia.  PIFWICs were Person Indicted for War Crimes. 


by XXX Camp McGovern, Bosnia 2003

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the camp
Not a creature was stirring, not even the tramp;

The ammunition belts were hung by the M-249 SAWS with care,
In hopes that PIFWICs would soon be there

The REMFs were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of R&R, getting drunk danced in their heads;

And First Sergeant in his Kevlar, and I in my patrol cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When out on the Helipad there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the cot to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I looked towards the field,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the blast shield.
The moon on the breast of the Black Bosnian snow
Gave the lustre of mid-night to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a T34 Tank and 7 raindeer, (they ate one)

With an Old PIFWIC so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment I would be very sick.
More rapid than 5.56 rounds his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Hummer! now, Abrams! now, Bradley and jeeps!
On, Sergeant Major! on Captains! on, Majors so lame!

To the top of the bunker! to the top of the C-hut!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As dry BDUs that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an other PIFWICs and mount to the sky...
So up to the bunker top the coursers they flew...
With the sleigh full of bootlegged stuff and St Nick too..

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the tin roof
The roar of the tank engine and around the turrent it flew...

As I drew in my 9 Mil, and was turning around,
Down the chimney the War Criminal came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with blood and soot;
A bundle of bones he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a crack dealer just opening his pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
Yep, he was as drunk as a ferry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight between his few teeth,
And the evil smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a Balkan face and a little round belly,

That shook, when he laughed like napalm jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old Ick,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of being sick;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And stole all the stockings; oh what a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his trigger guard,
And giving a nod, out the front door he slammed hard;

He sprang to his T-34 to his crew gave a whistle...
And away they all drove like a bore cleaning bristle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

"Screw SFOR , and to all a good-night."

Merry Christmas and I hope all readers are loving the one they're with...


Julie said...

Thanks for visiting my blog! Happy holidays!!!!!

Coffeypot said...

(sniff, sniff, wiping a tear from my eye)that was beautiful, Dude. Simply beautiful. I am so full of the spirit right now that I want to go out and shoot the first non-Englsh speaking dude I find.

Merry Christmas to you and yours.

CI-Roller Dude said...

my pleasure
Coffey, don't forget...anybody worth shooting once, is worth shooting twice--Double Tap!
My High School English teacher said I had no talent.

Anonymous said...

Hello! Found you over at Julies blog. Thank you for your service to our country!

Anonymous said...

Almost forgot to say Happy Holidays!

CI-Roller Dude said...

Thanks... I know many people think some of us joined "to save the country".
Really some of us National Guard guys just joined to drink beer and play cards...how we got there we haven't a clue.

Anonymous said...

How come u block your face? Comeon let us see what u look like.


CI-Roller Dude said...

that is my face. I was issued a blacked out face just prior to my Bosnia deployment.

powdergirl said...

Ha, you're funny!

Merry Christmas to you and yours, and a happy New Year to y'all, as well.

CI-Roller Dude said...

The US Army spent a lot of money training some of us as Combat Comics. Our motto:
"When Under Fire, make them die laughing"

Kanani said...

An epic!
Thanks for putting that together. I enjoyed it! -Kanani

CI-Roller Dude said...

An epic to be forgotten... in a few years most Americans will have totally forgotten Bosnia. What a shame, nice place to take a vacation!