02 March 2009

Cop tools....?

From the Police side: I get e-mails everyday from police supply companies. Since I started working as a cop in 1979, I have seen a lot of police gear come and go. Some of it is still around and works very well, some of it was crap. I remember when I was sent to some police class in the regional training center, all the cops would pull out whatever pistols we were packing and show them off. "Lookey here, I have the new compact, jumbo, maximizer, auto-feeding sub-prime, bla bla bla .45." and everyone would go "wow."
Then in the 1990's it was cops showing up with the newest Lap top, PDA or multi use cell phone. The sad part was, most of the time, the cop had something that he or she had no idea how to use, but it looked impressive.
Some of the cooler police departments would buy their offices almost anything if it looked good.
Which brings us up to today's item. I just got an e-mail from one of my favorite police suppliers and when I looked at what they were trying to sell, I laughed. It's a new device for helping an officer climb over a fence/ gate. One of the requirements to get into the police academy is you have to be able to scale a 6 foot wall.
However, after most cops around here get hired on, the only PT they do is lifting donuts to their face. When they're confronted with a real life 6 foot wall, they call for the rookie on probation to come over and climb it (that happened to me many times in my first years.)
Now, the latest invention fixes that....I call it the "overeating donut fence climbing tool."

Check it out on youtube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PL6JI4vph0Q

I'm not even going to ask how much this shit cost. If you buy anything made for Law Enforcement, the price goes to double what you'd charge a carpenter or anyone else. When you buy Caution tape for construction work it's half the price of the same stuff that says: "Police Line Do Not Cross"....which everyone crosses anyway. I think maybe we'd better off using Construction tape.


Hope said...


Anonymous said...

Doughnuts? I thought it was pizza, when was the last time you had a doughnut?

Anonymous said...

I heard that some cops like to wear gloves b/c they think it gives them super powers or something? Must be some pretty darn expensive gloves!

"D" AKA CI-Roller Dude said...

Where I work, we try to avoid donuts and eat the French word things... Pizza is good for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Rookie cops go through differnt phases...
One of those is carring black gloves, regards of how hot it is.
another phase is the bag that holds 500 pounds of crap they'll never use.
One phase I train them to not get into is the "mouth bigger than the hands" phase... where they get into crap and have to call for back up to rescue them.
Now, I could go on for hours, but read my book if I ever get it done.

Howie Feltersnatch said...

So D, since you are the man and are such a cool dude. Can you still get your butt over the 6' wall? If so... I would love to see you do it.

"D" AKA CI-Roller Dude said...

Howie, (sounds like LASO guy I know) I drive the Crown Vic up to the friggen wall and used the push bumper to get over.
I can acutally do it without help a lot more often than most of the rookies I've trained.
(And that applies to some of the "kids" I had in Iraq)

Chuck from Tacoma said...

I remember the days at LAPD when the big debate was to go from .38 revolvers to semi-auto's.

J said...

Well...the closest I've ever come to being a cop is horseback riding for the Sherrif's dept mounted patrol...in parades. But I did have a large angry bull help me over a fence one time...it was highly motivating, and didn't cost a thing.

I bet fly tape would keep people out of the 'crime scene' and cost less too...who's gonna cross tape with nastly little bugs stuck all over it?

J said...

Ahhhhh...pizza. Now that's a good cop. :)