10 September 2009

Yes, we're different...

From the Soldier side? Well, sort of. This post is to help some of the younger dudes out there to better understand women. As a police officer, I often have to help couples when they get into fights. I prefer to get involved before they start beating the snot out of each other. But what everybody needs to understand is...men and women are not the same. If you add years of military training to this, sometimes the guys get even a little "more different."
Let me take a simple example to help you better understand:

Let's say you are going to have a Super Bowl Party at your home. You are going to invite several people over. Here's how the female would prep...
1.) Starting the day before the party...dust the entire house...even rooms nobody will go into, just in case.
2.) Sweep and vacuum entire house.
3.) Clean bathrooms until they shine, restock with clean fresh towels etc.
4.) Wipe TV screen so it is really clear, oh, better clean the windows to
5.) Make shopping list, plan for snacks and lots of drinks, look in new cook book for special things to make...that will take hours to bake etc.
6.) Re-arrange furniture around TV to insure everybody has a good view of game.
7.) Make up little party favors, snack trays, etc
8.) Run around house in a panic an hour before guest are to arrive because you're sure you forgot something....yell at male because he hasn't done anything.

Here's how a dude would get ready for the same Super Bowl Party.
1.) About an hour before game, run to store and buy several bags of chips and beer.
2.) Move recliner to front of TV, and set up TV tray so you don't have to get up during game.
3.) Load fresh battery into TV remote.
4.) Unplug phone

Now, keeping these things in mind, I hope this helps you better understand.

I've added a little video....this is how you should NOT exercise at home.


Coffeypot said...

You left out the part were the lady of the house stands in the doorway between the kitchen and the TV room for when one of the guest hollers, "Hey, I need another beer here." And don’t let her be late about it either.

Glad you posted this. It might save many a marriage.

Anonymous said...

Now a smart woman would:

Wait until pre-game. Then...

Pop a very large bowl of popcorn and set it on the table next to the vacuum cleaner.

Take an empty laundry basket and fill it with nerf balls...(to keept the breakage down when the idiot team fumbles)

Raise every toilet seat in the house.

Grab the checkbook...

and j u s t as the game is starting...
bring her dear hubby a nice cold beer and as she walks toward the front door, sweetly tell him ALL the things she'll be buying today....
...None of which he'll hear because he'll just say "Uhh hhuhh....sure honey, have a good time."

...and off she goes. :)

You're welcome girls!

CI-Roller Dude said...

The next time I have a house built, I'm having a urnial put in the guest bathroom.

Opus #6 said...

Anon, that's funny! Grab the checkbook. Ha ha!

Red said...

great post! but I'm with Anonymous on the whole make-the-house-dude-friendly-and-go-shopping!!

CI-Roller Dude said...

Are you ladies going shoppin' in South Park?
Still..the best Super Bowl in my memory was in Baghdad in 2005....I can't even remember who was playing...but they gave us "2" beers in the mess hall.

~J said...

You kept things so simple.
...until it was time to exercise.

RD, I've never seen a woman do that kind of treadmill workout...hahaha.

LL said...

I agree with the concept of the urinal in the washroom. Put three scoops of ice in it before the game begins so the guys can have a goal to melt it all before half-time.

You also need a flat screen TV in front of the urinal so the poor unfortunate doesn't have to miss a second of the game or commercials.

CI-Roller Dude said...

CI-Roller dude, make a note...when getting next house built, add cable outlets in bathrooms. Next the the potty.

chupacabra said...

Videeo was great! Officially broke me from wanting to work out. Thanks.

CI-Roller Dude said...

I'm sorry if this video made some folks not want to work out. I'm thinking this guys is "high" or retarded.
The "new" Army we would have to write a 3 page Risk Assessment form before working out on this machine.

Kanani said...

Thanks! I needed the laugh today!

bathmate said...

I liked it.