18 March 2013

CI Roller Rules of Order for meetings

From the new job side: One of the things I have to do at me new “non-sworn” job is go to meetings.  With my quick observation skills, law enforcement and military training, I observed how many of these meetings went.  In most cases, these meetings have no or very few sworn law enforcement folks attending.  The meetings where they do have such persons, they are on time and go very quick. 
The county I work in now, has about two dozen cities, bus services, schools, colleges and other agencies I haven't even found yet! 
So, I came up with some rules to help MY meetings go better.  I showed them to my boss, and he sent the document out to have a poster made.

Rules for meetings with multiple agencies

1.)    Try to be polite to everybody and treat everybody with respect (but have a plan ready to throw them out of the room)

2.)    Don’t ask questions that are just asked to show how smart you think you are

3.)    Don’t ask somebody a question about another agency that they don’t work for if it’s an off the wall question

4.)    Speaking of “off the wall questions” avoid asking them.  (There are no “dumb” questions, just people who don’t think before asking them)

5.)    If you have a “special” question, or something that is going to suck up a lot of time and doesn’t impact anybody else, then consider asking it after or before the meeting 

6.)    Your lack of planning or reading stuff ahead of time is not a reason to ask a question.

7.)    If people cringe when you walk in the room or when you ask a question, consider not coming to the meetings…actually consider retiring and moving away

8.)    If all you do is go to meetings and never actually do any work, don’t ask others at the meeting to “summarize” information or to do your work for you, most of them have jobs

9.)    If you were supposed to bring something for the meeting or do a presentation, don’t wait until the last minute to find that everybody is using a Windows 9 type system but you have a Windows 3.0 and can’t hook it up.  Plan ahead. 

10.) If you always come late to meetings, sneak in quietly… don’t shout out “sorry I’m late…”.  Everybody knows you’re sorry for being late.  Most of the time we’re not starting the meeting until you get there because we know you violate all the above rules. 

11. If you need to make more than ten points, have another meeting next week.

12. If someone comes up with a good idea early in the meeting and that idea is still intact by the end of the meeting put that someone in charge of all the meetings. 

Never say the following phrases or words:
“Basically”.  “One quick question.”  “ Stake holders.” And the worst: “ With that said.”  or any other word or phrase that's used more than 20 times a day.  


Well Seasoned Fool said...

Just send me a memo.

Old NFO said...

Pretty much 'military' style... And it WORKS! :-) I did actually have to throw a PHD out of a meeting a couple of years ago, since then I have NEVER had a problem when I tell people to 'take it off line' and stop a discussion.

Momma Fargo said...

I'm with Well Seasoned Fool. I hate meetings. Most if not all were not productive and a true waste of time. I don't get why we have come to think we need so many. Task it out, then meet. ONCE in awhile. Not all the freakin' time.

Coffeypot said...

Excellent List! I could have used it back in the day. I will post it on my Facebook page - with credit to you of course.

CI-Roller Dude said...

the first month at my new job I went to lots of meetings...and found most of them were a waste of my time. I was assigned a very large "project" that would take over a year to do...I got most of it done already...because I didn't go to so many meetings.

I had to go to one today...I'm adding a roll of duct tape to my bag for stuff I bring to meetings....one person never stopped asking questions. I suggested that person attend some training since they have no idea what they're doing.

Jay said...

There are some people who attend meetings as it strokes their ego. I think you could add a rule about all egos must be left at home. Do not bring your ego with you as it has not been invited to this meeting.

Sergeant Grumpy said...

My personal favorite is when someone says "I have nothing to add", the proceeds to talk for 10 mins reiterating what has already been covered as if they just thought of it.


CI-Roller Dude said...

And I love it when some assclown tries to tell me something I said was wrong or "they don't don that."

I always ask: "Can you show me your opinion in writing? Because I can show where so and so has put what I just said in a rule or law."

Grumpy: the worst was an assclown SGM one AT who decided the HE needed to give us a class on how to fill out an NCOER. It took over 3 hours and he said: "With that said" 17 times.

Kristina Divine said...

CI~ I know I've been on a sabbatical, but could you change the color of the font for your date so it can actually be read?

As far as the list goes, I'm sharing at work. The Director and the County Board of Supervisor's could take a few pointers. ESPECIALLY the retire if everyone cringes when you walk in a room.

CI-Roller Dude said...

KD. Huh? The date font is light blue on my box.

Anonymous said...

CI-Roller Dude,

I just found your blog, and have spent some time reading over some (a lot of) your old posts. All I can say is outstanding! Reading them reminds me of the common-sense NCO's that "raised me" in the 317th Engineers (Frankfurt, Germany) back in the late '80s. Thank you for your many years of service. I hope you keep writing about your thought and experiences. I am really enjoying your blog and the old NCO wisdom. I hope those currently serving are still passing it on.

Essayons!!! Airborne!!!