Operation: Payback, CI Roller Dude style:

From the Soldier side: I still tell folks my Bosnia deployment was one of the “Best Jobs I ever had”.  I didn’t like it when we got stuck on Eagle Base (too many officers running around with nothing to do) but when we went out on a “mission” it was extremely cool. 

Camp Cody in Ugljevik was our Area of Operations

Some of the folks I considered “cool” were in the EUPM mission (European Union Police Mission).  These folks were from civilian police departments all over Europe.  Since my normal job back home was a civilian cop, I got along very well with these coppers.  We shared stories and stuff…and I became good friends with some of them.  They were given a very large per diem to live on, so most of them spent what was left over on alcoholic beverages…and there were many “meetings” I had to attend where folks were well lubricated…and the spoke in many languages—trying to speak English.  My ear was tuned to compensate and I could actually understand most of them most of the time.

Camp Cody- our base of operations for this mission

The one lad I had a hard time understanding even when he was sober (which was usually before noon) was a copper from Scotland.  I mean I was impressed with anybody who enforced laws and made arrest without a handgun, but this guy was awesome…and very Scottish—including the kilt on occasions.

One such event was a going away party where he wore his kilt.  And yes it’s true they wear nothing under the kilt.  I usually brought my compact digital camera with me everywhere, and this one night I made the mistake of leaving it on the table when I went to the bathroom.  (make a note to never do this around some folks). 

I returned and my camera was still on the table, but it appeared to have been “on”.  I was pretty sure I had turned it “off”, but dismissed it all to just being forgetful. 

When I returned to my Sea Hut room on Camp Cody later that night…I down loaded my pictures to my computer.  The last picture made me laugh.  I won’t describe it in full detail because many readers might become ill.  But let me say this about that picture: I had digital proof that the Scots do in fact wear nothing under their kilts… and let me just say somebody was creative with toilet paper hanging out of a certain body cavity. 

So…how does a good Soldier and NCO get payback in a case like this?  I had already ordered some special bumper stickers on-line for another mission.  I figured when those arrived, I would divert some of them for another mission.  I even came up with a mission title and op order. 

“Mission EUPM Even the Score”.  I was not concerned with starting an international incident because my EUPM comrades had already established that there were no R.O.Es. (Rules Of Engagement).  My own moral values added that it would not be life threatening and would be nothing that could cause any mission member to be subject to any UCMJ action. 

Here's how the mission went, (redacted for Op Sec): Dress in all dark clothes.  Make sure we have a full load of ammo, fuel and commo plan.  Contact those parties responsible for the offense and insure that they are home and going to bed.  Go and park a few blocks from where the offenders live, walk in a stealth manner to where their vehicles were parked...conduct mission.  

General area of operation for this mission...

SPEW ALERT, swallow your coffee before going further!!!!

One picture is worth a thousand words…