One time at….(Sung to the tune of “One time at Band Camp”)

From the Soldier side:  One thing I have found that has been consistent throughout military history has been many troops have a good sense of humor.  In many cases, this is an essential quality to survive.  Many of these “funny times” in war may only be funny for those who were there at that time.  Years later when you try to explain it to somebody, it just ain’t so funny. 

But, if you run across an old buddy you’d de-ployed with, and remind them of that funny moment, you’ll start laugh so hard, people will call the police.  

One of the “you had to be there funny things” we did was use the line from the movie “American Pie” this one time at band camp… we changed it to this one time in Bosnia and later, this one time in Iraq. 

Click here to see what the hell I’m talking about:   This one time at band camp...

I often used humor in both my police and Army duties over the years---right when the shit was about to hit the fan…or, at least we thought it might. 

This one time in Fallujah, Iraq, my team and I were about to go out with the Marines  we were attached to.  This was at the end of 2004, so there was still some stuff going on, but it was pretty safe…sort of.  We got up early that morning to make sure our gear and weapons were ready.  I looked at my guys and could see that they were pretty worried…(they had forgotten to breath).  I had to think of something to get them calmed down, or we’d never make it out. 

One of my guys was going to drive the M1114 Turbo Charged 12,500 pound Up Armored Humvee, one was going to be on the gun, an M-249, and the fourth was the “terp.”  I got them gathered and said: “we need to get to the mess hall and make sure we eat.  I want everybody to have a full breakfast, eggs, bacon, ham, oatmeal, coffee, milk, juice, toast, apples, etc.”

They looked at me in disbelief….and I added: “WE can’t shit our pants in fear on an empty stomach!” 

Then there was this one time in Bosnia….we ran out cappuccino in the mess hall.  That was rough.