30 September 2010

"C" for Crazy....

From the Cop side: The reasons I would never be police chief, or any other high ranking position, and the reason it took me so long to get promoted in Army are pretty much the same. I do have a “mouth” but I learned long ago that it can quickly overload my ass. So, I learned to “bite my tongue.” I have so many cuts on my tongue from biting it, that I no longer have any feeling in it.


Still, when either the police department or the Army needed something done that was really fucked up, they’d ask me to do it. Never for any promotion or anything, they’d just say: “hey, the other sergeant is going to take two weeks to do this, and I figure you can do it in 20 minutes.” …that sort of shit.

And I will tell somebody what I think. I don’t try to be nasty about it, but if you are walking past a pile of dog shit, I’m going to tell you: “Hey, that’s dog shit. Don’t step in it. Don’t smell it. It’s really dog shit.”
But sometimes, the Army or the Police Dept wouldn’t want to hear that…because it might offend somebody or some shit. I’m sorry, if it’s dog shit, we can’t change that fact. It’s going to stick to your boots and stink. Don’t step in it…really.

Now, one of the things I’ve done on and off over the years is to train cops. I really don’t like being a FTO (Field Training Officer) for the brand new cops…the ones’ who have never driven the patrol car before. I’d prefer somebody else to work on them for at least 10 weeks, then send them to me when they’re not so retarded and all. Let me teach them the shit that will help them survive the job. Where to eat good food and how to safely drive and stuff.
Many, many years ago, I was given a rookie on what was supposed to be his last phase of training. I was to evaluate him and polish off anything that needed fixin’. In this case, the FTOs who had been training him must have been too shy to fail his ass out of the program. (I’m really not that tight, I really want them all to make it!)
This cop, I’ll call “C” for crazy. He was like a monkey on crack or something…and he fucking argued with me all the first night!



To be cont.

7 comments:

Saker said...

What? He argued with you? Tell me you dropped him. :D

Coffeypot said...

A wood-shampoo to get his attention should have been applied. Say you did it.

Momma Fargo said...

The suspense is killing me...

Momma Fargo said...

Actually, there probably is no more bc when he argued with you, you threw him out of your car.

CI-Roller Dude said...

Wait for it....wait for it.....

Hogday said...

That rookie sounds like he's going to earn himself a long walk back to the station - just a gentle reminder, you know the drill RD ;)

Wrexie said...

Sgt. Suspense, we can't take it! What happened to the crack monkey? He's not on the loose is he?