20 April 2010

When it might be time to retire...

From the Cop side:  (This is a reprint from a post I did a while back.  Reprinted in LARGE FONT for those who need it.... )

Clues that let you know it might be time to retire from Police Work:

1.) The rookies you’re training are younger than your own children

2.) The rookies call you “Sir” or “mam” after you’ve told them 50 times to stop

3.) You’re now not only arresting the children of the people you arrested at the beginning of your career, but also the grand children (but they’re only going to juvenile hall)

4.) The rookies ask you what it was like to drive a police car with a motor that had more than 400 cubic inches and a carburetor

5.) You don’t even get excited when someone calls out on the radio “I’m in pursuit” and the only thing you fear is the 15 forms you’ll have to fill out if you get involved

6.) You finally learned how to use the new police software to write reports, and the department is going to version 2.5

7.) You still carry a pocket dictionary even though the report writing program has a spell checker---- just in case

8.) You not only still carry a back up gun in violation of department policy, but it’s still registered in your ex-spouses name

9.) You don’t have anyone to drink coffee with on your patrol shift because all the new rookies drink the “power” drinks that you think taste like gun cleaning solvent, and can actually remove the copper fouling from your pistol barrel

10.) You still think smoking, selling, growing and buying pot should be a felony and anyone who needs a prescription (in California) is a waste of oxygen

11.) You’re considering getting a medical marijuana prescription as soon as you retire so nobody will bother you and the last 30 + years will be a blurr

12.) You volunteer to be the school resources officer so you can meet hot single moms (or dads)

13.) You’ve forgotten how many special assignments you’ve had with federal and state grants over the years and wonder why none of them are still around (like DARE etc.)

14.) Buy the time you’ve gotten to #14, you can’t remember what the first line said, and you can’t even remember what you had for breakfast, except for the coffee, and you can’t read this on the computer because you refuse to wear you reading glasses

15.) When you finally get a rookie who thinks he/ or she will drink coffee with you, they want to stop at Star Bucks and spend $7.95 on a foo-foo drink that is not even in the pocket dictionary you still carry around

Man, I’m glad I can retire pretty soon.


Coffeypot said...

And you have been a cop longer than most of the people you work with have been alive.

Sounds like it's getting time to move on while you can still walk without a cane or ride your bike without training wheels.

Good luck to ya, Dude.

Texas Ghostrider said...

OK, 12 out of 15, I guess I need to retire, but I need to find one of those hot single mom's first, because there is no way I can survive on a cop's retirement.....

Momma Fargo said...

I'm with ya, buddy! Don't forget this one...

"You're still alive? I didn't think they made 'em like you anymore."

CI-Roller Dude said...

CP, the funny thing is, I'm still enjoying the job.

TG, We have a good retirement system here...but we contribuite a lot to it...

MF, yeah, I've heard "you still working?"