26 April 2012

Zombies could have eaten our brains and we didn't care....

First of all, I’d like to finally congratulate the Marine who used to be “America’s First Sergeant” and is now “America’s First Sergeant Major.”  I know from my correspondences with him, that he will be the new standard for what all E-9’s should be like. 

I’m pulling up a post I did back in 2010.  This was about one of our Sergeant Majors from my old Battalion.  He IS NOT what other E-9’s should attempt to be like.  He was and is a retard.  I’m really glad that when we got to Kuwait for prep before going into Iraq, a bunch of us were given to a Regular Army unit and didn’t have to be under this retard.  (God I’m glad I’m retired and can say what I really feel now.)     

From the Soldier side: There are some things in any organization that those who pay attention start to wonder out loud: “Why do we have that? It’s a waste of money.”

The larger an organization, the greater chance this item is not an item but a human. In the United States Army, there are many such persons. They may be in a position of authority, leadership or some private who just can’t seem to get anything done. With privates, a good NCO figures that there is always hope. That hope may come from the thought that: “We’ll get him/ her to understand how to do this and become a good soldiers” or “We think he/she is just too retarded, so we need to kick them out of the Army.”

In the case of a new private, I figure that there is some hope. Some chance. Some glimmer of something to make things all better…since we can no longer do “Wall to Wall Counseling.”

But, as a soldier stays in the Army, they are expected to move up in rank. As they move up, they take on more supervisor and leadership duties--- in most cases. There are some soldiers, who have obtained a certain rank where they seem to be totally useless….and not only useless, but actually make others waste time, and do many things to make the job or mission actually harder to do.

Take the case of a certain Army Sergeant Major…one in who keeps coming to mind…and after this last weekend National Guard training, (this was originally posted in 2010)  I heard even more sad stories of him when he was in Iraq . He was one person, who if we had not taken him along, the entire deployment would have been much safer and less stressful… maybe even “fun.” I have to say I was amazed to hear all the stupid stories of stupid things he did….(you see, a bunch of us who were “organic” to that battalion, were attached to a “real” army battalion just before we landed in Iraq—so I didn’t get to witness the stupid stuff this stupid ass did in Iraq.) He was the dumbass who decided that on a few convoys, he would man the .50 caliber Machine Gun--- even though he was not really trained on it.

(Note: In the US Army, a Sergeant Major can be put into a unit where he is not qualified to do the main jobs of that unit…because he is supposed to be some sort of super leader. However, in our case, his lack of even the basic understanding of what we were supposed to do in Iraq, really made things difficult. He was too low of an IQ to even qualify for our MOS—and that is no shit.)

And he had multiple NEGLIGENT DISCHARGES because he is so pampas, arrogant, stupid and un-trainable-- he wouldn’t ask anybody how the weapon worked… and we're talking about the M2 .50 Caliber Machine gun that he was having problems with--- almost hitting US Army Soldiers with the rounds he cranked off. 

Oh and how he loved the new Army Beret. When were going through all the useless silly training at Fort Lewis, he wouldn’t let us put on our issued Desert Combat Uniform (DCUs) until we had “passed” all of our training. He decided to allow us to wear the DCUs like it was a friggen honor or something…like passing some school and getting an award. WTF was he thinking…we were going to have to wear that friggen uniform everyday for the year we were in Iraq.

But to top off all the stupid things I’d ever heard of…when we finally had the “honor” of getting to put on the DCUs, we still had to wear the stupid black army beret—which I hate and think was some Public Relations idea to make everybody in the Army feel elite or something--- like the special units who were the only ones allowed to wear a beret before. (like the Rangers, Special Forces and Airborne).

When we returned to the States after Iraq , he continued to muddle through being our battalion sergeant major. About a year after we’d been back, we went back to good old FT Lewis for our two weeks of annual training (AT). We would go to training all day long and come back to our barracks with stuff to study and work on for the next day---while the Sergeant Major sat on his ass all day and had nothing to do.

Then, one night he decided that all the Non Commissioned Officers (NCO- aka “Sergeants”) needed to be trained by his royal dumbass on how to properly fill out a NCO ER (Non Commissioned Officer Evaluation Report)…which was a topic that would normally take a person with half a brain about an hour to do…

Nope. It took over 3 hours. The one thing…actually the only thing I remember after this torture was the Sergeant Major said over 20 times the phrase: “With That Said….”

He would try to explain something while using a Power Point slide showing the form for NCOERs. He went over each box…even explaining how to fill in the NAME, DATE and shit like that like we were children. Then, after explaining what he thought we’d know, he’d say: “With That Said…. Let me go over that again…”

At that point I understood why soldiers who are not in a combat zone are not given loaded weapons. Then…after this friggen retard went on for over 3 friggen hours, the Battalion Commander got up and said: “With That Said…”

We never knew what “THAT” was because all of our brains had gone numb. If the Zombies had invaded at that point, we all would have just sat there and let them eat our brains.

To this day, whenever I hear anybody use the words: "With that said" I become ill. 

Now, With That Said, let me tell you about…….


NavyOne said...

Hey, I think your SGT MAJ was a Sergeant I once worked for. (In a joint billet.) Terrible leader. But he motivated me to get rank so I would not have to deal with his type.

Old NFO said...

Yep, there is pretty much one in EVERY command, but they're NOT usually the SarMajor... Just sayin... :-)

America's SgtMaj. said...

Hey thanks CI Roller! Er...I think? I figure my role now days is to walk around with a coffee mug in my hand poking things with a stick while I say things like: "This ain't right."

CI-Roller Dude said...

Navy One, You "beat" they system then by getting promoted. I remember that SGM trying to tell a WO3 what he should do one day. The WO3 just looked at the SGM and aaid: "why don't you go back to driving trucks?"

OldNFO, no, they are usually 2nd LTs.

America's SGM, I can't help it if I had High Standards. Poking things with a stick will be good...as long as you don't give a 3 hour lecture on something that should have taken 20 minutes.