To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity while on deployment to Iraq
14 Things Private Snuffy Taught Me in Iraq!
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Humvee With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing vehicles.... See If They Slow Down.
2. In the PX, Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!
3. Every Time your boss ask You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that?"
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker in the TOC For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
5. In the PX, In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana.
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go to eat in the Mess Hall, with a serious face.
8. While walking around Sergeant Majors, whistel tunes from Disney movies.
9. While watching AFN TV, Sing Along At The Opera
10. Five Days before it’s time to rotate home, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend The Party Because You have a headache.
11. In the PX , When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
12. When Leaving the Mess Hall, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
13. Tell Your fellow soldiers, Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS In the PX, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.
12 comments:
#14 or ask for a tire iron to help put them on.
Hey, I've got a fun one too!
When you're loading explosives into boreholes in an industrial area(do not try this in a residential area) run screaming from the blast zone.
People like that : )
I need to use the bullet points like Mr. West.
1.How many of those have you done?
2. What were the results?
3. What's the female version of 14?
4. Of course, to test these theories properly, I'd have to be deployed. How can I get this blasted unit to deploy me??
Saker,
1. I don't want to admit that.
2. Results vary with each unit I suppose...some folks don't laugh.
3. Females can use the same item in 14.
4. To deploy, if you have an MOS the Army needs, they'll be happy to take you. I know in Calif, you'd go to the Nat Guard web site and look.
5. Be careful what you ask for, you might get it.
I'm active, not Guard,so all deployment stuff is just rumors. And I've been telling myself the whole time I've been in the Army that I shouldn't be enjoying it so much, and that I shouldn't want to deploy. Unfortunately, it's very hard work to convince myself that I'm miserable. I give up. :D
You made me spit my beer all over my computer screen. Dammit. LOL.
Coffeeeeepot,
Yeah.
PG, I used to do stuff like that when we were blasting things in the combat engineers.
Saker, I know what you mean. When I was in the "real" Army, I expected to go fight wars. Who'd thought that the silly old National Guard guy would send us off to wars?
MF, Get a Tough Book--they're beer proof.
AWESOME... Dude, you are hilarious! you made me laugh so hard people are staring ;p
Ha ha. Those are pretty good. Might have to give them a try on the next rotation.
Red, stop looking at blogs at work...or share the fun with the others.
Mat, I learned in war, we often have to make our own fun.
I love your new colors...you look good in blue.
On the cop side, do you ever hear excuses like...
"The accident happened when the right door of a car came around the corner without giving a signal."
hehe...just wondering.
~J
HA HA HA! Some of these are pretty damn good. My first sergeant asked to have a tennis ball put on his antenna so he could find his F150 out of the hundreds in the DFAC parking lot. When he came out to go to lunch, there were tennis balls from the bottom all the way to the top. I'm surprised the antenna hasn't broken off yet (two weeks later). Driving trucks, buses, or tactical vehicles in front of the port-a-johns when someone's inside so they can't get out is pretty funny too. Always move the seat as far forward as possible so when the next person hops in they can barely fit. Depending on how close you are with your unit... When you go to take a shower, you can yell out to someone you know, "Just trimmed him huh?" Most units have to share public showers with other units. This type of comment gets you a lot of weird looks, and laughs if they get it.
Only a few more months to go, so they say. I can't wait to get out of this hell hole (Baghdad)
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