29 October 2008

The BADDDD LT...cont...

From the Soldier side: Sorry I've been so busy...training a new cop at work and all. Good part of that is that he's pretty bright. In the past, I've had a few who were dumber than a box of rocks.
Well, to get back to that story of the crappy LT we had in Baghdad...As I was stuck in the office on light duty, I had to look at her everyday. I think I was able to give her that "look" that I might kill someone if they messed with me....I'm not really sure if that's what got her to stop buggin' me or what.
...but she still wanted to go "outside the wire" on a mission or two. Great...all we needed was for a brand new officer to go out and try to take over the mission. So, I had talked to the company commander, and our "mission control" person. They agreed with me, that if she was going to go out, she was not going to be in charge...of anything. She would just be a passenger.
So, I set up a date. I'd have her ride in the back seat of the last humvee in the convoy...with no chance to talk on the radio or to be able to do anything else to screw things up.
I explained it to her one morning...."Mam, I convinced the CO to let you go in a mission. You know that you're very important and they can't afford to loose you, or have you captured...or anything like that...."
She was eating my BS up. She was so excited to be able to go. But I was still worried that she'd hurt someone. The normal procedure for going on a convoy was:
1.) you had to be put on the convoy manifest
2.) it had to be approved etc
3.) before any convoy, you had to go through the training on our procedures for things like getting killed and all.
4.) make sure you were qualified on your weapon etc.
As the convoys drove out the gate, they would "lock and load" their weapons. In this case, I told the LT to just put a magazine in her M-16 and not put a round in the chamber. (everyone else had a round in the chamber.) I didn't trust her to not have a negligent discharge in the humvee. (I'm a good judge of people in this respect....comes from running police and army weapons ranges for so many years...I can see it in their eyes)
So, the dumbass LT got to go on a little convoy ride...just to the "Green Zone" in Baghdad...about the safest place you could go at that time. She came back and acted like she was a big ass combat vet. Then I told her: "Mam, some of these guys have done this over 150 times since they've been here. You've done it once, just to the "Green Zone" so calm down."
Then she asked where I'd been. After I told her, she learned to shut up.
She got sent home a week after that. Turns out she was "with child". That was the best day in Iraq...we had a party the day she flew out of Baghdad airport.
I'll tell you about "her" replacement in my next posting.... (if I don't see comments, I don't know if anyone is reading this crap.)


Anonymous said...

We're lurking out here...your silent stalkers. If you stop writing your stories, we'll cry or someting brave like that.

ooohhh...she got "the look". The cop side must have kicked in... hahaha

I want to know if she named her kid Abu.

Anonymous said...

1. Am reading.
2. Keep posting.
3. Good stuff.

Chuck from Tacoma said...

You have me and my 6th grade grand daughter checking in frequently.
Crud, we only found you in July.
She has many ideas about fixing mess kits.
Any way, One of her Great Grampa's a WW2 Infantry Soldier, another retired USAF, One Grampa a retired Coastie, me a former (short term, too stupid to last)cop, her step-dad is a Stryker, Her cousin's dad is USAF. Neighbors son is a Marine.The last three having all spent time in the sand box.
Mostly, I am here for selfish reasons. You are a part of my teaching her that respect is earned and that respect for those that have earned is good. Also she learns about service and how important serving is.
Enough cheeze outta me. Again, thanks for 2 jobs and a blog. We are lurking.

Anonymous said...

Roller Dude...tell a scary Halloween story.